Just Friends


We’ve all been there, men and women alike. You meet someone, and you’re excited about making a new friend. After weeks of late night phone conversations, sharing your hopes, dreams, and aspirations, you can’t believe how much you two have in common.  You enjoy the witty banter over impromptu lunch and dinner dates. As well as talking about current events, life changes, or something as simple as the hottest shows or the newest block buster over brunch.

Then one day it hits you, you find yourself starting to wonder why this amazing person is single, or better yet, why you aren’t dating them.  Your platonic feelings have turned into a full blown crush, and you are now faced with one of the hardest decisions you’ll ever have to make. Okay, so maybe it’s not one of the hardest, but you get my drift. After agonizing over this new development for the next few days, weeks, or in some cases, months, you decide to throw caution to the wind. You are going to share your feelings, and let the chips fall where they may.

You wait for the perfect time to express your interest, choosing between the late night phone conversations, impromptu lunch and dinner dates, eventually deciding to it would be best to say how you feel over one of the fun filled brunches. The mood is set, the champagne is flowing, and the French toast is on point. After you finish your meal, one of the many topics discussed is who is dating who, and you think carpe diem! Only before you have a chance to seize the moment, as though they had been reading your mind, and knew what was coming next, they slap you in the face with the infamous phrase we’ve all heard before, “I’m so glad we’re friends. I’ve come to think of you as a brother/sister.”

Your words of adoration are now caught in your throat, and as you try not to choke on them, you push these words out instead: “That’s so funny. I was going to say the same thing.” You smile as your insides churn from regret and disappointment. But as time goes on, if you’re lucky, you’ll get to discover that person has just as many faults as they do perfections.  And hopefully their newly discovered nuisances will cause your feelings of love, to dissipate at a fast and steady pace.

I know if you really love someone, you will accept the good with the bad, but in matters of unrequited love, I think there are certain exceptions to that rule. Now, don’t get me wrong, being just friends with someone also has its benefits. You may get to see sides of them that others are never exposed to, for instance, their incredibly goofy or vulnerable sides. You also get to know a lot, if not all of their secrets. I always find it entertaining when my male friends meet knew women, and all I can think is, if she only knew what she was really getting into, she might think twice before giving them her number.

So when you find yourself being placed into the friend zone, don’t look it as a negative. That person is probably saving you from a lot of heartache. Besides, men and women come and go, but if you’re lucky, you’re friendship will last a lifetime.

4 comments

  1. Thanks Geni! I think I’m going to make this into a 3 part series. My next blog post will titled Friends with Benefits and the final installment will be I Choose Me. I don’t know if you saw the other post on my fb page, but I’m writing for a collaborative blog http://www.sistersspace.com You should check out my poem titled, Remember When. 🙂

    • Yeah, once you cross that line you can never really go back. And I enjoy having male friends I can talk to about things and just hangout with, and not have tension having over us.

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