I feel like my brain is having a melt down. For the past 48 hours, I have been scouring the internet looking for writing contests and grants for writers hoping to put my new found freedom to good use. I say new found freedom because I was recently fired from a job that I strongly disliked. I’m not one to throw myself a pity party, and truly believe that it was a blessing in disguise. And I am thankful for my amazing and super supportive family. Plus I know God is going to provide for all of my needs and then some, so I’m not really fretting over not having a job. What I’m fretting over is what’s next. What do I do with this blessing of having limited responsibilities and all of the time in the world to do whatever it is that I want to do. My sister along with my mind keeps shouting move to LA, move to LA, move to LA. But I am trying not to lean on my own understanding and just sit still until I hear it from God that is the right time to make that move. I say right time because I know I’m meant to be in LA and will end up there one day, but I wasn’t planning on moving there at least for another year or so. So, I am sitting, waiting, and researching on how to prepare for the move when it’s revealed that the time is right.
Now to bring my rambling full circle, last night I stumbled upon a writing contest for women. And as I read over some of the past winners entries, I thought to myself, I can’t do this. I don’t write like this. I write humor, I write drama, I write heartache, but this, I can’t write like this. And then tonight it hit me. I don’t have to write like other people to be noticed, or to win the contest. I just have to be myself and everything else will fall into place. Plus I think I have a story that just may fight for what I am trying to do.
My sister told me that the holy spirit is here to help remind us of things that we may have once forgotten. And as I sat here and read over that story, all I could say was hmmmmmmm, this just might work. And even if it doesn’t, I won’t know unless I try. And one thing I know for sure is that if I don’t enter then I’m already guaranteed to lose. So, I am going to suck it up, and step out on faith, because you can lead a horse to water, but its up to them to drink it. There are so many resources out there, and I know I’ve just scratched the surface but that’s okay, because God’s leading me, and where he goes, I’ll follow.