The perks of being a wallflower


I know what you’re probably thinking, and no, this blog is not about an awkward teenager, who is trying to deal with his best friend’s suicide, even though I can say without hesitation, that “The Perks Of Being A Wallflower” is officially one of my favorite movies. This blog is about me, and the new life that I am trying to build hundreds of miles away from my family and friends that I miss on a daily basis.

Anyone who knows me is well aware that I’ve always been a quiet and shy person. You would think that’s something I would have grown out of by the ripe old age of 30, but for whatever the reason, I haven’t been able to fully break out of my shell. I can write and share my deepest thoughts with the world, but when in a room full of strangers, I am as quiet as a church mouse.

 I’m what you might call, a wallflower. I sit back, watch and observe the people and activities going on around me, until I feel comfortable enough to make my presence known. But here’s the thing about being a wallflower, it’s actually not as bad as some may think, because there are certain benefits that come along with not always being the center of attention.  Don’t get me wrong, there isn’t anything wrong with being the center of attention or the life of the party for that matter, but believe it or not even wallflowers have their day.

You might recall my blog, “Why Can’t We Be Friends”, which I wrote a few months ago and I how discussed how hard it is to make new friends as adults. Well, maybe it’s not so hard after all. Sure it takes work, but what relationship doesn’t? So, one of the ways that I have decided to meet new people is, drum roll please, the INTERNET! If it can be used to find love, surely it can be used to find friends lol. I’d been added to a couple of groups on Facebook and decided to finally put myself out there, and start posting in the groups, and low and behold, it worked!

A couple of weeks ago, I asked if anyone was planning on attending an event that I was going too and within minutes, several people replied. I exchanged numbers with one person, and then another one invited me to a surprise birthday party that was being held at that very event. When God moves, he really moves lol.

The other thing about being a wallflower is that even though you may feel invisible, you’re really not. People see you, even if you don’t know that they do. I attended a St. Patty’s day party that same weekend, which was being thrown by the organizer of another Facebook group. Once again, I put myself out there, and the universe met me half way. I showed up to the party, thinking I was late, but in actuality, I was the first to arrive, lol. But because I was the only one there, I got to chat with the host a bit and she truly is awesome! Plus, I’m learning that I do better in smaller settings, than large parties where I don’t know anyone.

As other members arrived, I was able to properly introduce myself and to my astonishment, one woman in particular knew who I was. We’d never chatted before, and keep in mind, that I’d rarely posted in the group, but apparently she remembered me from one of the few times I’d actually participated. I don’t think she knew at the time how much her knowing who I was, truly meant to me. I mean, she made my entire night! And to show my appreciation, I in turn cut short a previous engagement, so that I could attend her birthday party the following weekend. She seemed to be sincerely surprised and grateful that I’d made it to her party, since I regretfully had to decline the invite due to a volunteer/networking commitment that I’d made and had forgotten about. But in the end, everything worked out in my favor and I was able to do both and for that I was truly thankful.

To bring this blog to a close, to all my fellow wallflowers, you are not invisible. Continue to let your light shine, because someone else sees you, just like she saw me. And just remember, that sometimes all it takes is a simple hello, to change your life forever.

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