Date. Dump. Repeat.


Date. Dump. Repeat. That’s been the running theme of my love life since pretty much forever. Meet a boy. Fall for boy. Dump boy. And then repeat. Its a tedious process, but I guess its also necessary. Its all a numbers game, right?  And anyone who knows me, knows that I meet most of the men I date through dating websites. Meet enough men and one is bound to be Mr. Good Enough. At least that’s what I tell myself.

“You have new matches.”

That email piques my curiosity every afternoon. And even though I didn’t renew my Match subscription this month, I still like to see who they’ve “matched” me with. Well on Friday, I wish I hadn’t opened the email because there he was, a blast from the past. Mr. Whimsical Lion, aka Terrance. This was the second dating site he’d shown up on in the past seven days. You see, I’d seen him the week before on Tinder. But what these sites didn’t know, is that I’d already meet him 2 years ago. I resisted looking at his profile on Tinder, and quickly swiped to the left, removing him from screen and memory once again. But when he showed up on Match, where we initially met, I let my curiosity get the better of me, and checked out his profile

He’d uploaded one or two new photos, but he still looked the same. Of course looking at his photos lead to reading the “About Me” section, which made me laugh. And I remembered why I’d liked him in the first place. I clicked on the “our history” tab, just to see if Match had saved any of our conversations. Of course they hadn’t, not that I actually expected them too. But then it made me wonder that if Match didn’t keep track of our history, then why should I. Maybe he’d changed. Maybe he was done pulling disappearing acts, only to reappear weeks later, apologizing and asking for another chance. Maybe I shouldn’t have been so quick to swipe left and should have swiped right on the other website and perhaps we’d reconnect and things would be different this time.

Then I remembered, I’m not a computer. I’m a human being and yes it is good to forgive, but it is not always good to forget. Because when you forget about how someone has disappointed you in the past, you’re open to letting them do it all over again. And with Terrance, there was not going to be a third time.  And even though it didn’t work out between us, thanks to him, I am a little bit wiser and will be more selective when it comes to my matches. Until then, I will continue to date, until I no longer dump and live mostly happily ever after with Mr. Good Enough.

3 comments

  1. I had the same thing happen, one guy kept showing up on several sites but it turned out he was crazy. Sometimes multiple sites isn’t a sign from above just the odds.

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