Sometimes I think that dating in the 21st century is one big cosmic joke, and on Saturday, the joke was on me. My dating life is starting to imitate my art. I’m currently writing my first feature film, which is a romantic comedy. One of the love interests of my main character happens to be a black Republican, and on Saturday, I found myself spending time with a Black Trump supporter! I’ve accepted that I have no one but myself to blame for this experience. I ignored all of the warning signs. Not so much that he was a Trump supporter, because I didn’t find that out until Saturday, but I ignored the signs that we weren’t very compatible in general. For the sake of this post, we’ll call him John, and Trump of course is, 45th.
Let me start by saying that I’m a huge advocate of online dating sites and that I’ve even met some really great guys on them. I think they are an awesome way to expand your dating pool. I met John on Ok Cupid and the interesting thing about this site, is that it offers a plethora of questions for you to answer to help determine how compatible you are with a potential match. Our compatibility factor was less than 50%. Sign number one. We’d answered completely different questions on our profiles, so I chalked it to us not wanting to answer hundreds of questions and just answered the ones we thought were important at the time. I found him attractive and he could string together enough sentences to carry on a decent online conversation, which lead to us exchanging phone numbers after a few days of online chatting. To my delight, our phone conversations were even better than the online ones! I kid you not, we spent over an hour during one particular call discussing movies and where to find the best hamburgers around town. To me, that was pretty exciting, because if you know anything about me, I love good food and movies. Plus, he’s a gainfully employed, heterosexual male, based in Atlanta, looking to get married.
We agreed to meet on Saturday after I got my oil changed since he would be on my side of town, attending church. I brushed off the fact that John’s a Seventh Day Adventist, because hey, aren’t they Christians too? Plus, he seemed okay with the fact that I now prefer to attend nondenominational churches, even though I was raised Baptist. But apparently John was not okay with that, because at one point during our date, he asked me if I was an atheist. So perhaps our different styles of worship should have been warning sign number two. But again I ask, aren’t they Christians too?
We discussed a lot in our two and a half hours together, and as I look back, I’m not even sure how we got on the topic of 45th. Perhaps it was when he asked me if I was one of those “Black Lives Matter” people. To which I laughed and said, “Yes, I am very pro black, and I even attended a historically black university.” John then replied that he believes that all lives matter and tried to bring up the topic of black on black crime, which I immediately shut down. To me, the two aren’t related, but that’s a post for another time. Or perhaps it was when told me that he thought that President Obama, despite being a Christian, sold his soul when he decided to make gay marriage legal, and that 45th really is going to make “America Great Again.”
I probed further into his rationale, hoping he’d say something that made sense to me about why he believes that 45th is really for the people. He wants to build a wall to keep out illegal immigrants, and he says that he wants to bring jobs back to the American people, but 45th’s winery in VA turns around and applies for work visas seeking foreign workers. He wants to “heal” our communities, because “the blacks” all live in impoverished areas, riddled with crime. And of course the way to repair police and community relationships after countless killings of unarmed black men, is to bring back stop and frisk. Unfortunately, his retort was simple and idiotic. John defended his stance by saying that his brother once played golf with 45th and that he isn’t really racist, but that’s he’s a very down to earth guy. (Insert blank stare here) Plus, how could 45th be racist when he has a powerful black women standing by his side? I then asked John if he’d ever heard of house slaves, because to me, that’s basically what Omarosa is. I also asked him if he thought he was sexist, which he replied that he used to be, but had seen the error of his ways. He claimed to now truly value women, and understands that its his job to protect them since they are the weaker sex. Yep, he referred to women as the weaker sex. I promise I can’t make this stuff up even if I tried.
I know you’re wondering how I could possibly have sat through this encounter. Truth be told, for me, it wasn’t as bad as it sounds. I’ve been on bad dates before. Once a guy complained from the moment we sat down about the drinks and the food, until the moment we left. He texted me the next day, but I didn’t respond. Another time, my date make a big deal about me ordering a $5 dessert, accusing me of taking advantage of him. But for some reason, Saturday didn’t feel like those dates to me. Maybe because I thought if I turned into an angry black woman, I’d only add to his delusional state, because its only natural to become defensive when you feel like you’re under attack. I did however explain to him in a very calm tone why what he was saying didn’t make any sense. Despite our extremely different views, we never really got upset with one another. He even said that he liked my passion and respected my opinions. I don’t believe John is a bad person and we even hugged it out after he walked me to my car. However, I do believe he doesn’t really know who he is, and lack of self- knowledge is never a good thing, and ignorance is dangerous.
I told him that I felt a shift coming and that more people would start to wake up. I told him that I hoped his path lead him to the light and truth and wished me the same. Needless to say, there won’t be a second date and I’m glad to say that it was not all in vain. I was inspired to do some much needed writing, as well as commit to staying on top of 45th’s policies so that I could be better prepared for more run ins with people like John.
I think it’s great to keep an open mind when dating and choosing a potential mate. Choosing a life partner is nothing to take lightly and one should always know what their deal breakers are. For me, I can say with the utmost confidence, that my future husband, whether he be a Republican or a Democrat, will not be a supporter of 45th. I can accept that we won’t agree on everything, but we will agree on basic things, like 45th is pure evil. Because there is a big difference between being a Republican and being a supporter of a sexist, ignorant, psychopath.
As always, this is from my heart to yours.